Good lord—I leave the country unsupervised for a few weeks, and this is what happens?

I’m just back from two weeks of wandering through China, where we heard vague rumors that Wall Street had somehow fallen into the East River and Hank Paulson attempted a coup d’etat. Neither of those sounded like particularly bad ideas, so I kept hiking along the Great Wall and shooing away peasants trying to sell me silk fans for $5. I mean, if migrant Mongolian farmers now understand capitalism, how bad could things back home be, right?